Someone stop Planet “Fitness”, please

I am far from perfect when it comes to my diet. From the time I started this blog several years ago when I was pretty damn strict Paleo and doing Whole 30’s to now when nothing is really off limits as long as it fits my macro goals my diet has been rangy at best. I’m not a lean mean fighting machine. Not to toot my own horn but I have a six pack that is visible when I wake up in the morning and after a hard workout there is definitely definition…but there is also a lot of loose skin still present from weighing close to or over 300 pounds for most of my adult life. I’m far from perfect looking and my diet is a large part of that.

With that all being said, this makes me sick:


This was taken from Facebook and the name and identity is hopefully hidden well enough. This isn’t even a friend of mine so this makes me feel a bit like some sort of freaky and gross stalker that takes pictures of people in public and posts them, but the point isn’t the person in the picture, it’s what is represented.

Along with this picture was some text that basically said something like, and I paraphrase just a bit “I worked out for 90 minutes and my gym was giving out free pizza so, why not??”





I have heard that Planet Fitness does shit like this, but I haven’t seen it up close and – like 3 friends removed on Facebook – personal. I have seen the memes for Planet Fitness that jokes that they do not allow deadlifts or people to “intimidate” other members by looking healthy, but I figured they were jokes. It’s no joke, is it?

This poor soul went and probably burned somewhere in the realm of 300-400 calories. Maybe. If she really busted her hump she might have hit 500 calories. But that is 90 minutes of pretty intense activity. That isn’t a small piece of pizza and I’m guessing it represents at least 300 calories. You do the math.

I would feel dirty if I wore a Planet “Fitness” t-shirt in public. It would be like wearing a Donald Trump t-shirt to a political conference.

Josh Bridges and 16.4


Bridges has been penalized for the video.

First – how is it fair to penalize him now? Same as the issue with OPEX. If HQ approved the video submission on Friday, then how can they go back on their word? Just like they did with OPEX. I am sure if HQ told Bridges on Friday that his video was not acceptable he would have redid the workout. But they waited until after the internet cried and then they penalized. Another hit to the legitimacy of CrossFit as a sport.

Second – Again, nothing said about the HSPU. Nothing in the video showing the standard was set correctly and nothing showing that his heels were clearing the line. All the talk is about the deadlifts, but the HSPU as much more questionable.

The good news is that this terrible decision and really poor handling of this by CrossFit will not effect whether or not Bridges makes it to Regionals. Even with the penalty he still finishes inside the top 10 in his region and will still easily make Regionals. Would love to see Bridges at the Games in 2016.


How is this acceptable?

Let’s just move past the deadlifts and if Josh Bridges (blue shirt) was fully extending at the top of every rep. I am more than willing to give him the benefit of the doubt here due to lens angle. I mean, if the guy on the far right is standing up all the way, then Josh definitely is.

What happened to showing standards before the video starts? Where is the part of the video showing that Bridges had his toes against the wall, arms fully extended with thumbs touching? Why isn’t that shown? Why isn’t the initial measurement for the handstand pushups shown? Last year that was a requirement, right?

Even if the measurement is accurate how you can possibly tell if his heels are getting above the line at the top of his HSPU? Can you even SEE the line? I can’t. If you can’t see the line how could you possibly tell if he was meeting standards at the top of his HSPU? That camera angle sucks for seeing that standard anyway.

And what about the rower? Did he row 55 calories? Who knows?!

I love Bridges and doubt he did anything wrong, but there are standards for a reason. Maybe there was video evidence submitted to CrossFit showing the measurement, the display of the rower and a camera angle showing his heels clearing the line? Maybe. But if this was the only video submitted then I don’t see how the score should be allowed.

Same goes for Kara Webb and her video. I swear there are several (half?) of her HSPU where her heels do not get over the top of the tape.

The HSPU standards make it difficult to do HSPU, which is fine, but they are sooo subjective from affiliate to affiliate. They can’t have them in the Open anymore.

Hip Hop lost a great one today

This is a fitness/exerciser/CrossFit blog, I know. But today Hip Hop lost Phife Dawg from A Tribe Called Quest. ATCQ was the music I grew up on. I typically could care less when a celebrity dies, but in this case it kind of hits home.

Malik Isaac Taylor has been playing in my ears since I was in the 9th grade – about 25 years. He was only 45 years old. Only six years older than I am. Diabetes can be a mother fucker.

There had been some rumors that Tribe was going to reunite and maybe have a summer concert tour or something. I was hoping for the rumors to be true. While that isn’t happening, I will surely be playing Tribe all day today. If I coach tonight (supposed to, but this blizzard in Denver today is no joke..) you can bet the class will be listening to Tribe all night.

My top 10 Tribe songs:

  1. Scenario – and not the remix. I have had internet usernames “wow how now wow how now brown cow”
  2. 1nce Again – spent many days/nights at Best Buy blasting this after hours in the mid to late 90’s.
  3. Electric Relaxation
  4. Can I Kick It
  5. Jazz
  6. Bonita Applebum
  7. Check the Rhime
  8. I Left My Wallet in El Segundo
  9. Award Tour
  10. Find a Way
  11. Stressed Out
  12. Oh My God
  13. Push it Along
  14. Lucien
  15. Excursions
  16. Phony Rappers
  17. Butter
  18. Hot Sex on a Platter
  19. Skypager

No way I could only list 10.

RIP Phife – you brought me many years of joy.

Finally, probably my favorite Phife verse – I drink a lot of soda so they call me Dr Pepper…

Yo, microphone check one, two, what is this?
The five foot assassin with the roughneck business
I float like gravity, never had a cavity
Got more rhymes than the Winans got family
No need to sweat Arsenio to gain some type of fame
No shame in my game cause I’ll always be the same
Styles upon styles upon styles is what I have
You wanna diss the Phifer but you still don’t know the half
I sport New Balance sneakers to avoid a narrow path
Mess around with this you catch a size eight up your {​ass}​
I never half step cause I’m not a half stepper
Drink a lot of soda so they call me Dr. Pepper
Refuse to compete with BS competition
Your name ain’t Special Ed so won’t you seckle with the mission
I never walk the street thinking it’s all about me
Even though deep in my heart, it really could be
I just try my best to like go all out
Some might even say yo shorty black you’re buggin’ out

16.3 thoughts and feelings

My 16.3 experience

16.3 is in the books and my body and mind couldn’t be happier. It was not a good workout for me. I was one of those idiots who has spent all their time working on ring muscle ups so when bar muscle ups were announced I immediately started searching YouTube for any/every thing that might help me get my first.

Friday morning I tried what the videos told me – big kip, arms straight, hips to the bar – no success. Friday afternoon I tried to aggressively bring my knees up to the ceiling and I was able to get one muscle up. Then two. Got a video of my third. And in between judging throughout the night I probably got 12-15 more muscle ups without a single failure. At this point I figured I could try to work on linking multiple muscle ups together over the weekend and perform 16.3 on Monday before the deadline. Hell, I was getting them too easily.

Saturday morning I showed up, did some rowing and went to the bar to practice. No muscle ups. Not a single one and I didn’t even feel close to getting one. After about 15 minutes of trying I was too upset and quit. Thought maybe a day off and go at it again on Monday when I was fresh would be a good idea.

Monday morning rolls around – still no muscle ups. Must have made 20-30 attempts when I could while I coached the 5 and 6am classes. Again, I didn’t even feel like I was close.

Mind fuck. Continue reading