201.4. Damnit.

201.4. Damnit. That is basically what I said this morning when I stepped on the scale.

Getting oh so close

I just completed my Whole 30 cycle yesterday which meant I could step on the scale this morning and see if I had lost any weight (during your Whole 30 you are not supposed to step on a scale). Prior to the Whole 30 I weighed 208 and I really had hoped that I could get under 200 pounds by the end of this cycle. I know the book continually stresses that eating this way isn’t about losing weight, but that it is about whole body health, but, c’mon, we all do this stuff to look better in jeans, right? Or in my case: I want to look better with my shirt off so I don’t feel like a slob at the pool with my kids.

Last night I was trying to prep myself; I kept telling myself that I probably wouldn’t be under 200 but I knew deep down in my heart my hopes were high. When I started losing weight, just about 2 years ago now, I weight 282, so being nearly under 200 pounds should be something to celebrate, right? It doesn’t feel that way. I know, not for a fact, but I can estimate, that at my heaviest I am guessing I weighed 330+. I need to scan my drivers license picture as that was taken 10 years ago and my face…my…face…is……..round. And I have a large amount of extra chin under my real chin. Know what I’m sayin’?

So I should be proud. I have accomplished a lot, but I don’t feel like celebrating.

The weekend before I started the Whole 30 I volunteered at the Great American Beef Festival. The volunteers get cookies and brownies and what not and I ate some of it – OK, the final day I had two big cookies – and of course I had beer. I was still working out and working hard because I knew what sort of caloric intake I was about to partake in, and I expected to gain a few pounds. Prior to that weekend I had weighed about 204, once,  just one time I stepped on the scale and weighed 204. After the weekend of beer and bad food I jumped to 208. I expected to drop those 4 pounds relatively quickly which meant I only needed to lose 4.1 pounds to break that magical number of 200.

201.4. Damnit.

Never mind that, at the time, 204 was the lowest I have weighed since…I don’t know…high school? Maybe? I might not have weighed that little since middle school! I actually requested my current doctor to obtain all of my past medical history to find out how much I weighed in the past but unfortunately it only went back until about 2000 and not further. I really wish I could find out how much I weighed in high school. I know I am in better shape than in high school as I couldn’t even run around the track once without stopping back then, but I wish I knew how much I weighed.

What’s it going to take to get under 200?! I work my butt off in the gym and have tried various diets and now I am eating paleo and for the past 30 days a very strict paleo and still can’t break that barrier? I love working out, love it. There are mornings I wake up 30 minutes before my alarm goes off at 4:30am because I am so excited and want to get to the gym. I think about this stuff non-stop these days. But…

201.4. Damnit.

As I was driving to the gym this morning I started to digest this new information and started to change my perspective.

In the past 2 years I have definitely had bad weekends in which I gained two, three, four or maybe even five pounds. I am human and sometimes you just need to eat crappy food. It’s going to happen. If you totally deprive yourself when do you fall off of the wagon you will never get back on. Just try to control those times in which you fall off and fully expect to get right back on the next day. In the past when I gained as much as four pounds, as I did before I started the Whole 30, it took me a few weeks to lose it. I didn’t only lose 2.9 pounds in the 30 days, I did lose 6.9. Forget that 204 number and focus on 208.

Seven pounds in a month is good, especially as a percentage.

In the past two years a big week of weight loss would have been, maybe, three pounds. I don’t know for certain but I can’t remember too many weeks in which I lost more than three pounds in a week. At 260 pounds, let’s say, that means I lost about 1% of my weight in that week. If I am losing nearly 2 pounds a week now that means I am losing about 1%, same as before. As I get closer to my goal of 190 it is going to be harder and harder to take off that pound or two.

201.4. Damn, that’s awfully close to 200!

I am almost there. If I keep this up for another week I might lose that last one and a half pounds and see the scale read 200. This is the least I have weighed in a long, long time. 20 years maybe!

Perspective is so important. Why am I losing weight? Is it for the scale or is it for a better life. It’s for a better life. I see strides made in my performance at the gym and I see my son trying to exercise with me, and that is what is really important. I know if I keep this up the scale will eventually tell me what I want it to tell me. I am not going to drown my initial depression in a bowl of ice cream; that will just make me feel worse. Instead, I got up, went to the gym and worked by butt off and left feeling GREAT about myself.

201.4. F***ing sweet!

This is why I am doing what I am doing:

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3 comments on “201.4. Damnit.

  1. Primal Smoke says:

    Congrats! 7lbs in a month is great

  2. […] but I have at least 10 pounds of fat to lose (probably more like 30…). Late on in 2012 I was close to 200 pounds and this morning I weighed 215 after eating awfully horribly for the past two or three weeks. I […]

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