CrossFit movements I dread

This thing might literally kill me someday…

I can’t help but anticipate the next CrossFit workout. At my old box I had to wait until the early morning hours to see what the WOD was. I would wake up at 4:30 to get ready and get to my box by 5:30 am for the early bird special but I always had to check my phone or PC to look at the WOD before getting in the car. At my new box I can check it a day in advance as they always have the following day’s WOD posted along with the current.

There are some movements that I love. The movements where I can lift heavy and lift easily and feel like I can keep up. I like wall balls, anything with kettle bells, and, as much as this amazes me to type this, I love running. Man, a few years ago I would laugh if I said that out loud. No way could I love running! Today I do. I like any WOD that includes running or rowing. I like power cleans and any “hang” Olympic lift: hang power cleans, hang snatches, etc. Basically anything that doesn’t require a full squat! I don’t mind pullups or pushups. While I still struggle with a high volume of pullups I like them because I can do them! Along with running, pullups were something I never did back in the day.

What do I hate? What do I think are the top five worst CrossFit movements? These are movements I hate and when I say “hate” I say it with love. I  hate broccoli, but I eat it. It’s good for me. I haven’t found anything in CrossFit that will keep me from CrossFitting, but these movements make me sort of dread the WOD. When I see these I know I will be challenged and know that I will probably have trouble breathing…

In order from my less least favorite to my most least favorite. Got it?

5. Double unders. Such a simple movement, yet so, so tough. I have been CrossFitting for over a year now. In the early days it was once or twice a month. Then I started CrossFitting at 24 Hour Fitness on a more regular basis and in the past four or five months I would say I have done some sort of CrossFit exercise four or five days a week. In all this time I still cannot bag something as easy as double unders. I see people at the box nailing them. The same people that do some sort of wacky snatch/press/squat movement with 45 pounds. I can snatch but can’t do double unders?! What’s up with that??! I know that some day, hopefully in the near future, I will be able to link double unders as easily as I eat eggs, but right now, man, I hate’em. All they do is slow down my time.

4. Hand stand pushups. I hate these for much of the same reason why I hate double unders: I can’t do them. But what really pisses me off about HSPUs is that I know I can press well more than my body weight and if I wall walk to a hand stand I can rep out “HSPUs”, but when it comes to kicking up, back towards the wall, and staying there? I fail. Badly. I have never even remotely looked like a gymnast. While my sisters were doing cartwheels and somersaults and other stuff I was sitting on the couch. Standing on my hands has never been relevant in my life and now I am paying for it. The other day I finally stood in a handstand for a good five seconds and was as giddy as a school girl getting asked to her first dance. Or at least that’s what I imagine a school girl would feel like. Weird. Until I can master this movement it’s on my hit list!

3. Front loaded lunge. When I see that we are doing 10 or 20 lunges with even only a 45 pound bar in the front rack position I want to take a rest day. I don’t mind lunges or even jumping lunges but when you add weight and put it in the front rack, kick me in the nuts instead. I don’t particularly like overhead lunges but they aren’t even in the same zip code as front loaded lunges.

2. GHD. The dreaded Glute Ham Developer. I don’t have a fear of heights, but I do have a fear of falling from even two or three feet onto my head, espcially when my neck is at such a vulnerable angle. Every time I get on a GHD I feel like I am about to make a fool out of myself by falling off the damn thing and onto my head. What if someone just happens to be recording me? Those damn smart phones are everywhere and someone is always recording video with them! I would have to turn into some sort of recluse to hide from society as the video of me falling off of the GHD reaches two million hits on Youtube and NBC Nightly News decides to air it! When I see experienced CrossFitters jump on that thing and bend their back like that, so effortlessly, to touch the ground and come right back up. I’m amazed.

1. Thrusters. There isn’t a bigger gasser than thrusters. Period. Fran, heavy thrusters or the WOD we did the other day when we increased the number of thruster reps every round…yuck. Squatting, with weight, over and over again and also throwing it overhead? I would rather shave my blisters.

Those are my least favorite CrossFit movements. What are yours?

And that’s right, burpees did not make my list. I actually like burpees. Go figure? I enjoy 100 burpees for time or burpee pullups or even burpee box jumps. Maybe I will make a good CrossFitter after all?

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