Coke exec has a Q&A with USA Today. Slap me.

If you don't watch Breaking Bad you might not get this joke.

If you don’t watch Breaking Bad you might not get this joke.

Too easy. All quotes taken from this article.

I’ll preface by saying that I wouldn’t expect anything different from an executive at Coca-Cola: she should defend her brand and their profit margin. But, c’mon…

Q: Is there any merit to limits being placed on the size of sugary drinks folks can buy?

A: Sugary drinks can be a part of any diet as long as your calories in balance with the calories out. Our responsibility is to provide drink in all the sizes that consumers might need.

This I wholeheartedly agree with. If we are going to limit consumers from purchasing anything, why wouldn’t it be cigarettes?? Is the next step putting a scale at every McDonald’s restaurant and if you exceed a certain number the doors lock and you can’t get in. Let people buy what they want to buy and how much they want to buy. If I feel like binging on cheese doodles, let me. It isn’t the governments rights to make me healthy, if it was they would do a hell of a lot better job governing what we eat and make food manufacturer’s label their food if it contains GMOs. And they shot that bill down.

Q: But critics call soft drinks “empty” calories.

A: A calorie is a calorie. What our drinks offer is hydration. That’s essential to the human body. We offer great taste and benefits whether it’s an uplift or carbohydrates or energy. We don’t believe in empty calories. We believe in hydration.

An empty calorie, to me, is a calorie which does not fill you at all. Eating caloric dense food is better because it fills you up – why fats are good, among other reasons. So drinking your calories, to me, is the exact definition of empty calories. But to suggest that Coke is a great way to hydrate is a slap against the general public’s intelligence. I had a buddy, many moons ago, try to tell me that his thirst was quenched with beer better than with water. A few years later he realized what an idiotic statement that was. Someday this exec will feel the same way about this statement.

Q: Because sugary drinks have been linked with obesity, some suggest soft-drink makers place “warning” labels on cans and bottles.

A: There is no scientific evidence that connects sugary beverages to obesity. If you look at the data, you can see that during the same period obesity was rising, sugar intake from beverages was decreasing. Between 1999 and 2010, sugars from soda consumption decreased by 39%, but the percentage of obese children increased by 7%, and 13% for adults.

I hate warning labels. We are too eager to sue and people want labels on everything. Why do I need a label on my anti-freeze to tell me not to drink it?! If someone was to drink anti-freeze then Darwin is doing his job!

Q: Shouldn’t teens drink less cola and more milk and water?

A: Teens should get a healthy diet through food and beverage choices throughout the day.

Easy answer? Yes. More complicated answer? Yes, sort of. Of course they should drink more water, but get rid of the over-processed milk. Drink more water and then drink some more. The health benefits are lost on society because it is free. Drink it.

Q: How much Coke should a kid drink a day?

A: We don’t make recommendations on what kids should drink. But a 12-ounce can of Coke has 140 calories, the same as a lunch-box-size bag of pretzels.

Funny…I recommend not drinking the Coke OR eating the pretzels. Both are shitty sources of calories and poor food choices.

Q: What sugary drink limits do you place on your kids?

A: My job as a parent is to guide them through the day to make the best choices. If my son has lacrosse practice for three hours, we go straight to McDonald’s and buy a 32-ounce Powerade.

Advertisement alert! She put that plug in nicely, didn’t she? Why can’t your kid hydrate on water? All this marketing about Gatorade is a load of malarkey. Just drink water and eat some meat and veggies to replenish what you lost. Or if you need a pick-me-up have a banana or an apple. Natural source of sugar to help with what you have lost.

Q: What do you say to those who believe that sugar — particularly in soft drinks — works on the brain like an addictive substance?

A: There is no scientific evidence.

You want science? How about you, Mrs. Executive, go three or four days without your routine of diet Coke’s and Powerade’s and tell me if you start getting headaches or STRONG urges to drink a soda. I bet you do. And then I bet you change your mind about that last statement. I know I get addicted to it quickly.

Look, there is no way this interviewer was going to get anything juicy from this exec. All they were going to get was the same propaganda that Coke sells daily on TV and other forms of advertising. Maybe some day one of these big wigs will leave Coke or Pepsi and spill the real beans. Until then, don’t believe the hype!

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