Oscar Mayer Portable Protein packs

Just saw a commercial for these things. First, the commercial is pretty funny. I take that back, it’s really funny. Love the guy running with the parachute. Second, what a load of crap. Way to try to capitalize on a “fad” even though your ad is making fun of “fads”. Sure everyone wants protein right now so you give them a nice little pack full of protein.

If you haven’t seen them, these packs look like they contain an ounce or two of cubed cheese, peanuts and ham or turkey or some other meat. Should be a real short ingredient list, one would think. Wrong. Here are the ingredients for the package that contains turkey, peanuts and cheddar cheese:

Slow Roasted Turkey Breast – Browned with Caramelized Sugars – Turkey Breast, Water, Cultured Dextrose (Ingredient to Preserve Quality), Modified Cornstarch, Contains Less than 2% of Salt, Cultured Celery Juice (Ingredient to Preserve Quality), Vinegar (Ingredient to Preserve Quality), Sodium Phosphate, Cherry Powder, Caramelized Sugars, Reduced Fat Cheddar Cheese – Reduced Fat Cheddar Cheese (Pasteurized Part-Skim Milk, Cheese Culture, Salt, Natural and Artificial Flavor (Ingredient Not in Regular Cheddar Cheese), Annatto [Color], Enzymes, Vitamin A Palmitate); Potato Starch, Cellulose Powder and Calcium Sulfate Added to Prevent Caking; Natamycin (a Natural Mold Inhibitor). Dry Roasted Peanuts – Peanuts, Sea Salt, Maltodextrin, Cornstarch, Corn Syrup Solids.

One might think that turkey and peanuts could simply be two ingredients and one would be wrong. Cheese? Sure, that might take two or three ingredients, but I count 27 ingredients. Apparently the turkey not only needs modified cornstarch (ALARM ALARM ALARM), but it also requires cherry powder and sugars. The cheese requires the ever descriptive (and worrisome) “natural and artificial flavors”. And for some reason only known to those who are trying to addict you to their product, the peanuts require maltodextrin, cornstarch and corn syrup solids.

No, thank you. I think I will just stick to hard boiled eggs as my after WOD snack.

Oh, you want to know what ingredients are in my eggs? Eggs. That’s it. I just eat four eggs.

4 eggs (7oz food) Protein Pack (2oz)
24g protein 14g protein
20g fat 11g fat
2g carb 3g carb
320 calories 170 calories
~$1.00 ~$1.50

More protein, more food, less money and less ingredients. I like my option much better.

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