This is has been something I have thought about doing for a long time, but haven’t because of embarrassment. Part of me thinks I look pretty good without a shirt on, and the louder part sees the imperfections. The “saggy skin” from being overweight for the better part of 20+ years.
I look at myself from when I played Little League Baseball and I was chunky. I have had kids on my son’s team that I thought were fat. That was me when I was eight. I wasn’t really large or wouldn’t even call myself obese, but I was fat.
In High School I was totally sheltered and shy because I was overweight and was picked on.
It only got worse after high school when I moved out on my own and really started eating shitty. I started playing way too many video games and the combination of never moving and eating like crap really piled on.
I would start going to the gym after I turned 21 and went to Las Vegas – it was the first time that the idea of a girlfriend was enough to get me to do something about my weight.
I was doing the basic globo gym routine, though. Lots of sets of 10, lots of rest between sets and little sweating. No plan around getting stronger. Sure, I got stronger, but it was because before the gym I didn’t do a thing – of course I was going to get stronger just by going. But plateau’s happened all the time. I didn’t really care, I just started to look at the gym as a reason to go eat a big pile of horrible food afterward.
“Hey, I was just at the gym so this big burrito covered in cheese is totally OK.”
The knowledge of not being able to out-work a bad diet was not in my head. The scale didn’t change, but I never really got on the scale.
Fast forward another 5 or 7 years of occasionally going to the gym and now I am wearing XXXL. Yes, three x’s. I shopped the Big and Tall sections only. Stores that didn’t carry anything bigger than XXL or size 42 inch pants were off limits – they didn’t have anything that fit me.
Fast forward a few more years and I have actually got myself down to about 230 pounds. Probably the lightest I had been in a number of years. I meet my future wife, we get married and I get comfortable again. Bam, back to 290-300 pounds.
This gets me to the picture on the left in the set of pictures below. That picture was taken at my son’s first birthday party, so about February of 2010. That’s me. Large, red cheeks and I am out of breath when I tie my shoes. Continue reading